We are all, unavoidably, by nature,
While some may, over time, fine tune their skill at tempering this instinct it is always there lurking beneath.
It is the cause of all strife....our claims of ownership in religion, our higher power, our land, our relationships and yes, our grief.
Even in my use of the word 'our' this is identified.
In these past few days of recollection and acute memory I have found this realization at the surface of my thoughts.
My anger, at first seemingly unexplained, I now believe is rooted in this territorial ground.
I have found myself scrutinizing the memories of others for accuracy, downplaying the role that they held in his life with an internal sneer and a sharp critical eye.
A visceral protection of my memories of Chris and my relationship with him. A need to place my memory and loss 'above' that of everyone else....
Logic and compassion tell me that this is not a truth and yet there it is.
Some days my own humanity is startling to me.
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